Life in Weddings

Your Legacy

A recent challenging experience with a church caused me to think a lot about what I contribute to the wedding industry, who has come before me and who will follow. And it occurs to me that if more of us thought that way...about the legacy we leave with every event...we would have fewer challenges all around.

Policies that seem crazy to us (professionals) were earned by someone. While it's unfair to judge every wedding planner, or every DJ, or every florist based on the actions of a vocal minority, which of us wouldn't feel it was the only way to stop bad stuff from happening again in the future if the tables were turned?

We can't fix what happened to our venues or churches in the past, but we can model the standard that we hope everyone in our industry will follow in the future. We're the uncomfortable "present". How we handle the situations that we think should change today will impact opportunities tomorrow.

So, today, as you wade out into the world of weddings and you encounter challenges that are the result of someone else's bad behavior, remember the legacy that you leave. Handle every situation with dignity, and endeavor to leave the circumstance better than when you arrived.

Baby steps - we'll get there!

~Shayna

 

Evaluating Educational Opportunities in the Wedding Industry, Part 1

Have you ever read my biography on this blog, or one of my websites, or my resume on LinkedIn?

If you have, you’ve seen a line item that I almost always list: a 1997 certification in Tour Guiding Management.

Weird, right? It’s not an event planning certification, a “best of” designation or a frou-frou accomplishment that makes me sound like a super-cool wedding planner.

In fact, it’s the result of an intensive, two-week course that I took from the International Tour Management Institute 14 years ago. By intensive, I mean that all of the course participants – I think there were about 30 of us – slept in the same hotel (unless we lived locally – in which case we commuted to the same hotel at ungodly hours) for 14 days, including weekends. We attended classes for more than 8 hours each day. When we weren’t attending classes, we studied our out-of-class materials. We went on the road in the kind of tour bus many of us would end up working on for the months and years following the class, drove from Los Angeles to Mexico and back, and took turns giving presentations to the group and to alumni of the class who were IN the tour industry between visits with suppliers and future career contacts.

The two-week course was a condensed version of a longer one that was offered in the institute’s home city of San Francisco. To attend the condensed course, students literally committed to abandon their lives for 14 days and focus exclusively on a career in tour management. We were not permitted to go back to day jobs, had to make arrangements for our loved ones and had to be completely invested in the experience. Those who weren’t stayed home.

Getting into the class wasn’t even easy – there were actual selection criteria above and beyond “who is willing to pay?” There were interviews, essays, applications and what seemed to me at the time to be a huge investment of multiple thousands of dollars. People who weren’t qualified or who didn’t seem to have what it might take were turned away.

And some who made it into the class did NOT graduate.

The two weeks of seminars were taught by 3 or 4 instructors, all of whom were actively engaged in careers in the tour management industry (and still are). They derived their income from the very skills that they were teaching. In fact, after I graduated, I worked for two seasons with one of my instructors operating educational tours. They didn’t just wake up one morning and conclude that there was money to be made in teaching people who liked the travel industry how to be tour managers.  They were the industry leaders with the chops and the records to support what they taught.

The other thing about a certification from the International Tour Management Institute is that once you graduate, you become a member of their organization for life. You have the opportunity to attend an annual symposium and meet potential employers. You can continue the educational components and networking for life. There is real career support.

For life.

If my life circumstances changed and I wanted to go back over the road again next summer, I could brush up on my skills, go back to the institute, invest my time and work with them for career support; 14 years later.

Why do I still list my 1997 certification in Tour Management on my resume? I list it because in a compact amount of time I worked just as hard to attain that certification as I did later to earn my degree with honors from one of the nation’s most prestigious small universities. And I got a lot more jobs from that certification than I ever have from my degree.

Have you ever taken a wedding “certification” course? Compare your experience in that course to what I’ve described above – from the admissions process straight through the career support on the other side. Then come back later this week ready to discuss, because I am by no means finished with this topic.

Shayna Walker, Life in Weddings

Chatting with Perfect Wedding Guide in Greensboro, North Carolina

  
 
Images courtesy of Stesha Warren, Seed Sower Images.

 

Recently I was asked by Gail Golloway and Jaime Gilliam of Perfect Wedding Guide Triad/Triangle to speak with one of their networking groups on a topic near and dear to my heart: "Bridal Shows and Bad Behavior". We shared some laughs, as well as some looks of pure wonder as we talked about the different ways that exhibitors sabotage their brands and their marketing investments by doing bizarre and unholy things at bridal shows.

Pure fun.

 

You could ask me to speak in a delivery bay at a warehouse and I would be delighted to oblige. But that's not Gail and Jaime's style. I knew this because their bridal show that I visited late last year in Greensboro was awesome. But truly, they blew this one away. Most people are happy when their networking meetings have some decent food and places to sit. This went WAY beyond.

 

On what turned out to be a kind of cloudy, gloomy day, the team turned an "ordinary" tented event into a "Welcome to Spring Garden Party", complete with (harmless, pretend) bees. They hauled in grass, fountains, live plants, pretty florals, gorgeous tables and a group of fantastic, warm and friendly wedding professionals. Totally worth the drive from Williamsburg (and the twins had a superb time at the Children's Museum while I spoke...thank goodness for babysitters).

 

Thank you SO much to Stesha Warren of Seed Sower Images for sharing these photos. Also, to all of the wonderful Triad/Triangle professionals who contributed to the event including:

Caterer: Culinary Visions Catering, Edie Lutz

Dessert: Create A Cake Catering, Roberta Pearson

Host/Linens: Happy Rentz, Teri Hodgin

Lighting: Firefly Events Lighting, John Haskins

Designer/Coordinator: Sharpe Pursuits, Shayla Sharpe

Flowers: Green's Flowers, Beulah Green

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warning: You Might Not Be Ready for My “List”

Professional wedding planners, especially established ones, are asked almost daily if they will put someone “on their list”. These requests come from experienced and new wedding service providers alike.

From the perspective of a planner, the decision to refer my client to a service provider is not one that is made at all lightly. There is so much more to gaining my confidence and professional referral than adding your name and website to a list. In fact, the issue is so multi-layered that one post could never cover it. Consider, for example:

• How an experienced, professional planner establishes a database
• How recommendations are tailored towards the needs of individual clients
• The product and service expectations a planner has of a vendor she has referred
• The potential liability exposure a planner has when referring a client to a service provider
• How providers and planners relate throughout the planning process and on the wedding day
• The vendor’s expectations of support and clear communication
• The planner’s expectations of support and clear communication
• How prepared a service provider is to work within the planner’s guidelines as far as communication and procedures are concerned
• What happens if the client is legitimately unhappy with the provider? What steps are taken to ensure fair remedy?

The “List” of “List Issues” goes on and on.

First, there is No “List”

The first thing I explain to someone who is asking to be “added to the list” is that there is no list. I maintain a database of contact information and details like performance results and communication history on providers in all categories. When I am working with my clients to match them with their vendors, I take into consideration their budgets, specific requirements, requests and needs.

If I send my clients a list (and certain planning levels warrant sending contact information over contacting the providers directly), it’s customized specifically for each couple’s unique situation.

What I’m Thinking

Here are the first things that I think about when approached by a service provider who asks to be added to my database of referrals:

1. Have we ever worked together before?
2. If yes, what was the process like and what were the results?
3. If no, have I ever heard of the vendor before?
4. If not, is someone really, really compelling and trusted referring the vendor to me?

I will freely admit that it is extremely rare for me to refer someone who has answered “No” to question #1.

The rare circumstance arises when I need to fill a need with someone who I do not know. In those cases I almost exclusively rely on referrals by trusted colleagues. Otherwise, to get on “my list” we have to have worked together before. You might be awesome, and that might be unfair, but it is how I protect my clients and my professional reputation.

There is always a chance that we will work together on an event by coincidence. That’s how great relationships in this business begin. Patience is a virtue.

If it seems impossible to get into a planner’s database…you may very well be looking at a good planner.

What are you getting yourself into?

Those service providers who I regularly refer have several traits in common:

• They are clear, effective and timely communicators
• They respond to my initial inquiries immediately and enthusiastically
• They go out of their way to accommodate my clients’ schedules
• They do not offer or pay commissions to wedding planners – if a commission structure is in place in their company, they offer it to my clients as a benefit of working with me
• They receive constructive criticism professionally and seek it out
• They respect my process and my methods for communicating with our mutual clients
• They resolve issues fairly and quickly
• They provide outstanding service at all times

In return, my providers know that they can expect me to:

• Regularly refer them to qualified prospective clients
• Defend their value
• Communicate professionally
• Identify sources of concern when they can still be addressed
• Act as a partner in our mutual success and mission to create outrageously happy clients

If you’re unwilling to embark on this kind of partnership with your planner at each and every wedding, no matter how hard it might be, then you’re not ready to be on “the list.”

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know:: Pro Edition

I freely confess that I am a bit of a conference junkie. Okay, I’m way over the top. I have frequently mentioned here on the Life in Weddings blog that I am actively seeking a career that allows me to:

a)      Attend every conference in the wedding and social media industry

and

b)      Stand behind a tradeshow booth at many of them (I love tradeshows).

“Sign on the Dotted Line” and “Make That Money”

So it’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I found myself sitting in Linnyette Richardson-Hall’s seminars Sign on the Dotted Line and Make That Money this weekend. What was a surprise to me is how much more I enjoyed them and learned from them than even I expected.

Not that I ever intentionally underestimate the Diva and her ability to spellbind her audience! But I’m the kind of continuing education addict who would attend a class on determining your pricing…after having just published a pretty popular ebook on the subject, just because it was a class and I liked the instructor.

I could have attended, heard nothing new, and still found the experience valuable. But no. The Diva does not work like that.

Intimate, Interactive and Intense

Linnyette’s courses tend to be intimate, intense and tailored to the students in attendance. They are interactive. Students of all levels are respected, and the advice is sage, on point and completely relevant. That and the food; there are always massive quantities of really yummy food.

A powerful combination of enlightened, fiercely intelligent and purely entertaining, Linnyette’s presentations simply don’t allow for boredom. They are layered with levels of intricacy which allow a brand new planner to understand the material, and the experienced consultant to identify areas in her business that need change or could be even better.

If you don’t learn anything, you aren’t trying.

During the Make That Money class, I did my victory dance when I plugged my numbers into the equation Linnyette suggested and came up with my current hourly rate. By the end of the day I had a short list of policy changes to improve things like cash flow, client screening and even value-perception that I hadn’t expected to take away.

It was the Sign on the Dotted Line class, though, that really made me take a hard look at some places that I could make improvements in my 7-year-old wedding business that I had either not considered or had totally forgotten about. I marked up a contract that I have successfully used for years based on really solid, excellent advice and more than one eye-opening “you think you’ve seen it all, but you’re wrong” anecdote.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

In sharing experiences, one of the themes that I couldn’t shake during the whole weekend, was that the vast majority of planners, those on so many different experience levels, don’t know what they don’t know.  Those who don’t attend any educational seminars or conferences are the worst – they are operating on an assumption that what they’ve acquired through their limited personal experience is enough to save the day, when they may in fact be treading in some really unsafe water.

Those who do attend seminars have to seriously consider whether or not they are attending the right ones. If you’re on your 10^th class about using Twitter for business, but have never planted your tail in a class about event contract law, your priorities are skewed. If you’re leaving your seminars wondering if what the speaker said to do was ethical or right, you really need to make better choices.

There is plenty of good, and some kind of sketchy bad out there in wedding education today. Know the difference when you’re investing your time, money and future.

If you want to start with one of the good ones, the courses hosted by Premiere Event Management are sure-things.

Will I See You Next Time?

If you’ve never attended one of Linnyette’s courses, I would highly recommend you do so at the next opportunity – and I hear a rumor (okay, I may have started the rumor) that there are more classes coming soon on some topics you almost never see but really need.

Incidentally, I will pay dearly for making that claim…

What about you? Which conferences, seminars, courses and events will you attend to further your event education this year (I'd love to go to Eventology, Wedding MBA and LOVE Mexico this year, along with SXSW, BlogWorld and more)? Can I go with you?

It Takes Courage to Run a Real Wedding Business

Running a business is not for the faint of heart. I talk to colleagues all the time who say “I have to do this…” or “I’m worried if I don’t do that…” and it all boils down to fear.

I’ve mentioned this before, but we don’t make business decisions based on fear, now do we?

I was talking to a friend today and we were discussing the responsibility of wedding professionals in the face of cut-rate competition, unprofessional behavior, and general negativity. The responses we were calling for to everyday situations could make a difference, but they are not easy. They take courage.

It takes courage to:

• Tell a major national advertising network that you refuse to pay them anymore money until they commit to delivering a responsible message to brides about professionalism in the wedding industry (i.e. “tell them the truth” not just what they want to hear)
• Tell a venue that you will not refer them to your clients again until they eliminate their “paid list” or stop telling brides that they “don’t need a planner” just to land an account
• Tell a bride that your price is non-negotiable and that it represents the way you value your time and talents
• Reject a kickback, even when you really need the money
• Write what you believe, not just what other people want to hear
• Require that your professional organization enforce its rules, promote its members, educate brides, deliver actual viable leads and represent itself with decorum and integrity – and to stop paying for membership if it doesn’t
• Require your educational opportunities to actually be educational
• Stop accepting “free” listings that promote your competition unless you pay to prevent it…and start asserting that the traffic you send from their flashy buttons on your website are a commodity with value too
• Stop promoting “awards” that you know in your heart are meritless just because they “look good” to brides, and instead compete for and promote awards based on your talents and expertise
• Take responsibility for your image and the image of the wedding industry, act with integrity and demand the same of those around you

The good news is that you don’t have to act alone – and the more people who commit to professionalism in the wedding industry, the easier and less scary it will be.

What about you? Do you have the courage it takes to effect meaningful change?

Shayna Walker, Life in Weddings

A "Don't-Miss" Educational Opportunity

When I started my wedding planning business in 2004, I looked for mentors and leaders in the industry after whom I could model my best practices.

The most influential personality that I encountered then was Linnyette Richardson-Hall of Premiere Event Management. This industry veteran was already pretty successful and popular (she was one of the industry's first tv stars), but it was her no-nonsense, bottom-line and uber-ethical approach to the business of wedding planning that made her a magnetic online presence I could not resist.

I met Linnyette in person the first time at a networking meeting in Washington DC, and then again when I participated in her 21st Century seminar. She is one of the first people who I connected with first online, and later in person, and she was the "real deal".

Over the years I've developed a friendship with "The Diva"...but what is really significant is that no matter how well I get to know her, and in how many different situations we interact, she is still, to me, the model of what behavior and action in this industry should be.

Usually you idolize someone, then if you're lucky you get to know them and their luster wears off a little. Linnyette is as shiny to me today as she was the first time I encountered her.

Lest you think this is just an homage to my mentor, there is more. YOU have the opportunity to benefit from Linnyette's experience and expertise too, and I urge you to take advantage of it.

Linnyette is offering two workshops on February 19 and 20 - the first is "Make That Money" and deals with all of your hot-button questions like "how much should I charge" and "should I charge less because I'm new?"

The second is "Sign on the Dotted Line" - an invaluable workshop about something on which every one of us needs to spend more time reflecting: contracts.

If you only attend one educational program this quarter, or even this year, I will do you a favor and make the choice easy for you - attend Linnyette's weekend of workshops. You will not regret it. You can attend one or both, early bird rates are in effect right now and seating is limited.

I'm planning to go. Are you?

Find out more about Linnyette's workshops HERE.

Lame Reasons to Choose a Particular Bridal Show for Your Business

There are good reasons and bad reasons to choose a bridal show to complement your marketing efforts. Good reasons include:

• the show’s past performance
• the target audience matches your business’ demographics
• reviews from trusted colleagues of the quality of the show are excellent
• the media exposure is well planned and expertly executed, as well as targeted to your audience
• the timing works out with your cash flow and marketing calendar
• your return on investment is more than likely going to make the effort a profitable one for you
• you really like networking at any cost (okay, this one has holes in it, but I think I’m making my point)

And then there are feeble, lame, and just plain dumb reasons to feel like you must exhibit.

Please note (before you send your hate mail – this way we can argue on the same level) that some of the following things might contribute to the overall reasons you’d want to exhibit at a particular bridal show. But, in and of themselves, they do not guarantee, or in some cases, even encourage return on investment, and by themselves they don’t hold water as great reasons to invest your time and money.

Those brilliant gems include:

1. It’s free. The booth may be free, but your display, your manpower, your time and resources are not. Nothing is free. Calculate the cost vs. value and make an informed decision.
2. A “Celebrity Guest” is attending, part 1 – increased traffic. Hooray for the celebrity guest. Yes, a celebrity is likely to attract more traffic – maybe tons more traffic. However, is that traffic qualified? Are they your target audience? If someone is showing up to rub elbows with the latest TV star, how will that translate into dollars for you?
3. A “Celebrity Guest” is attending, part 2 – meet and greet. Maybe you’re signing up for access to the celebrity guest, in which case I will be brutally honest – you’re dumber than you look. If you want to meet a celebrity, there are dozens of ways that are better to get their attention (and maybe even keep it) than be one of 50 or 100 or 200 exhibitors at a bridal show. If you’re a serious networker, maybe you’ll capture his or her attention at the “vendor meet & greet”…then again, if you’re that good at networking, you can probably figure out a more effective way to meet his or her royal highness. Spending your marketing money to attract the attention of a celebrity is not good financial planning.
4. Everyone else is doing it. Even my 6-year-olds can tell you why that is lame. No, everyone else is not doing this one particular bridal show, and if they are, it will be very hard to stand out, so you’re going to have to put extreme amounts of effort into your presentation and message. If you put that much time and money into researching the bridal shows that are the right fit for your business you’ll yield much higher success. And, when they all jump off the cliff, you’ll be the smart lamb at the precipice who made his own decision. Incidentally – we never, ever market out of fear.     

When you’re choosing how to spend your marketing budget, be it on bridal shows, print media or online marketing, you need to establish criteria first to help you make the wisest decisions for your money and business. Don’t be the kid who is easily distracted by bright, shiny objects. Be the business owner who makes conscientious decisions based on real data.

I am sure that there are more dumb reasons people choose their bridal shows that I haven’t mentioned here. What’s your favorite? What do you think? Share with the “class” in the comment section of this blog, tweet it to @weddlady on Twitter, or leave it as a comment on www.facebook.com/bridalshowtour. We love lively conversation!

Topics for Debate: Why I Don't Do Bridal Shows {Guest Post}

I'll preface this post by saying that I (Shayna Walker of the Life in Weddings blog) like bridal shows. I wouldn't go state to state visiting them if I didn't. I get a kick out of standing in a booth for hours talking to as many people as I can. Maybe it's mental illness, maybe marketing strategy, but I'm a fan.

 

{photo courtesy of Brad Howe Photography, floral design by Williamsburg Floral and My Favorite Things}

 

I recognize, however that not everyone finds value in them, and I invited my friend Kara Buntin to give a fair account of her opinion and how she formed it, which I think she did very well. This is a great topic for debate - you are invited to join the debate by leaving a comment. Just remember that this is a safe forum for difference of opinion and education. I'll straight up delete anything that doesn't reflect a mature ability to communicate an opinion. Play mean in your own school yard...mine is bully-free.

Why I Don't Do Bridal Shows (by Kara Buntin)

I admit it; I’m a wedding show avoider.

I’ll say right up front that I have done large shows in the past, and I’m not completely anti-bridal fair. I will participate in smaller fairs if a venue that uses me a lot asks me to be there for something in-house. (I won’t be happy about it, but I’ll do them as a courtesy to the venue.) But for me and my particular niche I’ve decided that the larger shows (and most of those smaller in-house ones) really don’t do much for me in terms of booking business.

I have a home-based business making custom wedding cakes, and when I first opened I thought that shows were something that I just had to do. I participated (meaning paid what was what I considered to be big bucks) to have a table in a few shows. For that I probably got at the most two or three bookings from each, and a lot of stress.

First, the cost to do shows isn’t something that you can ignore if you’re a small business. I was speaking to one of the show coordinators once, and she said “All you’ll have to do is book one cake and you’ll make your money back.” Well, actually, I’d probably have to book about three or four to make the money back, and that would be just to break even. To make a profit I’d have to book a lot more than that. And given the return rate that I mentioned before, that doesn’t happen.

Second, the stress of planning for a show is something that I just don’t need. For cakes you need to have at least two or three display cakes, which means a lot of decorating work beforehand. You also need to make cake samples to hand out, or people tend to get angry at you. If there’s a show that has 2000 people attending, that means 2000 samples, or whatever you estimate will take you close enough to the end of the show that you can legitimately say “sorry, I ran out of samples.” If you tell people that one hour after the show starts it just makes you look like a poor planner.

Then there’s handing out those samples. I work by myself, and I either have to spend the show restocking samples and not talking to brides, or enlist friends to help me hand them out. The rush for food at larger shows can get ridiculous, and it’s frustrating to have to spend the entire time dealing with cake and not being able to talk to brides.

The third point is that I tend to book up very far in advance, and for the last few shows that I did I spent a lot of time telling brides that I was booked for their dates. That doesn’t accomplish anything, and just gets frustrating after a while.

The major consideration for not doing large shows anymore is that I’m convinced that most of the brides just don’t remember you. There will always be one or two who follow up, but for the most part there’s so much going on at shows, the brides get overwhelmed, start shoving information into their souvenir shopping bags, then go home and ask their friends who they used instead of hiring someone they met at the show. For me personally, word of mouth is my best advertising, and I find that brides tend to trust other brides, as opposed to hiring someone they met cold at a fair.

I’ve had people tell me that they saw me at this or that show when I wasn’t there. That just tells me that they really don’t make clear choices based on the shows, because there’s just so much going on then.

I’ve also had people tell me that they went to a show hoping that I’d be there, but they still made an appointment anyway. Me not being at a show didn’t stop them from booking a tasting. My website and word of mouth still brings the majority of my clients to me, and those have nothing to do with shows. 

I’m sure that there are people who do get a lot of business from shows, but I’m not one of them. For me, and for a lot of professionals, the true value of a wedding show is to meet other vendors. If you go to a show and don’t take the opportunity to walk around and meet other professionals, you’ve wasted your money. To me, the networking is the most valuable part of doing shows, and I participate in other networking groups to take care of that part of my business.

Again, I’ll say that I’m not anti-show, but I’m also pro-smart advertising. If you do shows and get little to no return on them, then they might not be the best venue for you to advertise. If you feel that they get your name out and you like the business that you get from them, then have at it. Like any other form of advertising, you shouldn’t do wedding shows blindly. Analyze the cost and returns, and if they don’t work for you then you might want to put your advertising money somewhere else.

Kara Buntin owns A Cake To Remember LLC, custom wedding cakes in Richmond, VA 

Our Guest Post on Integrity and the Wedding Business

I am so grateful to Dina Eisenberg of Positively Wed for the opportunity to guest post on her blog last week. Please head over to Shayna Walker Talks Integrity and if you like what you read, do me a favor and leave Dina a comment on her blog (you can comment here too if you like!).

You may not know it, but blog comments are not just a useful tool for networking, they are also an important gauge of a blog's dynamics and popularity. If you love your favorite blogger, be sure to post something thoughtful about what they've written!

Look for big news on Life in Weddings on Monday. This isn't hype, I promise - something very cool is happening. And look for the Bridal Show Tour to go all supercharged over the next three months. Think I can hit 12 states? That's the current goal!

Oh, and I'm off to Wedding MBA in just over a week. I'll be catching up with pals Wenda Evans, Linnyette Richardson-Hall and Fran Aycock, as well as spending some quality time with my fabulous friends from "the RVA" (that would be Richmond, to anyone outside of Virginia).

What exciting things are you up to this fall? I really do want to know, so go ahead, leave me a comment!